Episode 2 here: http://www.sentientresin.com/2021/02/27/lexx-episode-2/

(Content Warning this time we talk about cutting people up (again) and there’s talk of worms being in people and a couple related pictures that hopefully aren’t too upsetting.)

Alright Episode 3 aka I didn’t expect amputation to be a running theme.

So this is the episode where I realize just how effing long the opening is. First you sit through over a minute of opening credits which are just names on the screen as the Lexx’s tale spins to elevator music. Then you get a recap that’s like 3 minutes long of the entire plot narrated by the voice of Lexx. It takes like 5 minutes before we even get going.

The episode opens with 790 reciting a lewd poem about Xev to himself while watching the ship’s view screen. Lexx picks up a signal from a resource planet where special guest Rutger Hauer rambles about how it’s a good time to visit his planet. We see the transmission cut out when something begins to poke out from Bog’s (Rutger’s character) neck, he comes back on to continue trying to attract people to come to the planet. Stan doesn’t want to go but as the Lexx is out of food and can’t generate food goop for the group they decide to check it out.

They attempt to thaw out Kai to bring with them but discover he’s dead, like proper dead this time. When attempting to jumper cable him to life fails they accept that he’s gone.

Kay laying dead in a cryo pod while Xev holds the ends of two cables to his temples attempting to electrocute him.
My friend Vic taught me this neat trick.

They arrive at the planet to discover it is a garbage dump. This is actually a good thing as it means there’s stuff for Lexx to eat which he desperately needs to do. They land Stan and Xev bury Kai in a capsule they find on the planet and say a few words to say goodbye. Then Stan, Xev and 790 go off to examine a building they detected to see if anything useful is inside. Stan stays behind at first but eventually goes looking for Xev.

Stan comes across a one legged man with a large axe chopping up a corpse. When he notices Stan he at first offers to trade legs with Stan but then starts advancing on Stan once he sees that Stan is ‘clean’.

A man stands above a corpse. He's holding a large homemade axe above his head and in his other hand he's holding a homemade crutch to help him balance as he only has one leg.
“I want you to help me chop all this wood.”

Stan is rescued by a hot blonde who pulls him into an air vent. They talk for a bit with her promising to help him but being extremely vague on why. Stan stupidly tells her about the Lexx and that only he can fly it. She eventually asks Stan if he wants to kiss her. Stan being Stan says yes. We hear an odd noise during the kiss and Stan drops to the floor and then afterwards begins acting strange. Basically he’s acting stoned and aloof and laughing very easily.

Meanwhile Xev has been knocked unconscious and dragged away by some other local inhabitants. They hope to trade her to their leader for some ‘Pattern’. Quick aside we’re shown 2 passtimes of the locals. One is their band.

four men standing facing the camera, one holding a microphon, another banging on a drum and a third with a symbol on his hat that he's banging with a stick. All of them look like they're wearing various cut up canvas raincoats.
I’m not a music person, is this Ska?
A man standing on a small platform playing a very badly homemade string instrument while several other men dance around him. Once again the clothes are all made of cut up raincoats.
“Jayne! A man they call…Jayne!” (Stolen from LRR discord chat member Deimir)

The other form of entertainment is 2 people are strapped to a giant wheel of misfortune and spun about. One person wins a vial of green liquid called Pattern while the other person loses….. a body part. How much liquid and which part are determined by where the wheel stops.

Two men strapped to a giant spinning wheel with various panels showing body parts and beakers on them. a crowd watches.
You spin me right round baby, right round like an abattoir baby/

This is where we’re reintroduced to Rutger Hauer’s Bog. Apparently the locals all consume a liquid called Pattern. This liquid is made from pureed and refined people. The stuff made from the local stock is of low quality and they need new stock like Xev to make the good stuff. Apparently the local population no longer produces the good stuff and they need new flesh like Xev to make better stock.

Wist (the blonde woman) arrives with Stan who tells Bog about the ship and she tells Bog that Stan needs lots of Pattern. To make more Stan tells Bog where Kai is buried and they go to find out that Kai is no longer there. The reason Kai is gone is that during everything mysterious worms found him and sprayed him with a liquid that thawed and revived him and he got up and wandered off to find out what was going on and where everyone was.

So we’ve got three different threads that will all meet up. Stan takes Bog and Wist to the ship to show them the brain room where they gather up the brains to use to make Pattern. this is where we learn that the brains can actually totally just talk on their own and hear and everything…. ok then. They return to the processing room. Xev has been brought there in the meantime and a couple idiots try to process her and 790 and fail to do so with 790 being used to block the chopping blade.

A robot head jamming a fan blade. There's a couple limbs sitting next to it.
Hey 790 was plot relevant for once. Yay.

During Stan’s side trip we learn that he has a worm inside him latched on to his brain. It comes out of his neck they feed it pattern to make it go back inside. These being the same worms that revived Kai.

Speaking of Kai he’s found a recording that tells of a war that wiped out multiple planets other than this one. While this planet wasn’t important enough to target directly it did get infected by a predator that spawns worms to control people as part of a hivemind. During this video another Wist approaches Kai and attempts but fails to implant him as he’s still a zombie. He attacks her with his grapnel wrist launcher thing only for the hole to sprout several worms.

a woman's torso with a bundle of snakelike worms coming out of a hole.
Instead of a funny caption I give you this scream: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Kai defeats second Wist and goes to rescue the others. When he arrives at the processing room Xev is tied up, they are filling the machine with brains and Stan is standing idly by. They surprise Kai and cut his head off but Kai being a zombie talks to them and tells them a recipe for cooking up the three of them in a soup…… is this how they banter in this universe? Anyways this is where the episode starts to get weird. Bog drops Kai’s head and asks Wist if he can go to ‘the hole’. The entire group of locals and Stan go to a pit where they lay down and dangle their heads over the opening. A worm comes out of each of them and dispenses pattern into the hole.

What the fuck? What the fuck? can we go back to weird horny instead of this?

Kai’s body reattaches his head, he gets Xev down and they gather up the brains (why?) and 790 and go after Stan. Kai explains that the queen is down the hole and that the only way to save Stan is to kill it. Everyone but Stan is in the final stages of the process and all die as the worms eat their brains. Kai dives down into the pit to kill the queen while Xev and Stan return to the Lex.

Kai encounters the queen impersonating a giant Xev that was scanned earlier in the episode and kills it by firing his weapon at her vital spots. It’s weird how effective this retractable grapnel wrist launcher thing is. Meanwhile Stan still under control of the queen attempts to fly away on the Lexx to find new worlds to eat. During this the queen in the guise of Wist grows to giant proportions and leaps onto the outside of the Lexx and begins to bond with the ship.

A giant blond woman latched onto the hull of a ship and biting it.
Actual quote from Lexx “Distress, distress. I’ve been penetrated”

I can’t believe it took me until now to get the pun of the episode being titled Eating Pattern.

Anyways Kai grapnels to the outside of the ship to attack the queen so they can save the Stansel in distress. Meanwhile inside the ship a giant worm with a human face is pursuing Xev who is flying one of the shuttles inside away from it.

a giant coiled worm. We see on end has several large tusk emerging and a human face in the middle.
Would you like another scream? I’ve got plenty.

Kai manages to kill the queen and Stan back to his sense blows the planet the fuck up. Everyone gets back together and yanks the worm out of Stan’s neck to his horror. They continue on their merry way with Lexx’s food supply having been refilled during all of this and the episode ends with Stan being happily sprayed by Lexx’s food goo.

Jesus christ what have I gotten myself into with this. Well I’m not bored at least, I hope you aren’t either. This show is nuts, way more nuts than what little I remembered. Oh you may have noticed I haven’t shared a picture of Rutger Hauer in this episode yet. That’s because he’s the winner of Outfit of the Episode for his wonderful….. crown? shown here and I didn’t want to spoil it.

Rutger Hauer wearing a brown coat, metal collar and on his forehead a head piece with numerous spikes coming out of it like antlers or tree branches.
Well actually I guess someone’s horny.

See you for the last of the four episodes in this season and after that the show switches formats. I’m surprised at how little the Shadow has featured. Maybe he comes back in episode 4.

Episode 4: http://www.sentientresin.com/2021/03/02/lexx-episode-4/